Living Single Preparing 4 Love


Are you really ready for love? Do you know if you are really ready for a romantic type of love? So often when a relationship has ended a new one quickly begins. People intend on finding someone to replace the gap of loneliness that they are feeling because they don’t want to feel the pain of what they think they may have lost, when really there is something else better to gain. Having real true love begins with you first learning to be single.

To be single means "to be separate unique, and whole." Singleness is not loneliness. Being single is what makes you unique and different from other people. It’s who you are from the way you dress, style your hair, the way you laugh, how you walk, the way you talk, and how you perceive life, it’s what makes you, you. There is no one in the whole wide world like you.

Single, whole people are confident within themselves. They don’t need anyone to complete them. They have a healthy concept of who they are, and do not allow themselves to conform to other peoples thoughts and ideas. Whole people stand firmly in what they value and believe for their lives. They thrive through life whether or not they are in a relationship. They understand that having a relationship is just the added extra icing on the cake. By being single it allows you the time to develop yourself spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. When you are not prepared you will enter into the relationship with your insecurities expecting the other person to fulfill those needs. In addition; if the relationship does not adequately supplies the insecure persons needs then the relationship will not last long because their needs are not being met. That’s why it’s important to be whole before entering into a relationship so that when both people get together the focus will be towards each other and not self. Each person will then be able to give 100 percent to the relationship.

So what should you be doing while you are living single? 


Develop yourself

Set some goals; discover your life’s purpose. What do you want out of life? What dreams do you want to achieve? Begin working your way towards them.


Do a self examination check.

Do you have Baggage? You don’t want to enter into a relationship with unresolved issues. Some questions to consider: Are you still in love with an ex? Do you find yourself thinking a lot about your ex? Do you become jealous when you see you ex with someone else?


What type of woman are you?

  • Needy Woman- needs a man to validate you
  • Money Hungry- all you see a man for is money, what he can do for you
  • Lonely Woman – she cannot be alone will accept any man just to have one
  • Drama Queen – She loves to constantly debate, argue and fight
  • Foolish Women – plain niaeve

You need to correct these areas before diving ahead into a relationship. Check out characteristics of a real woman.


Are you suffering from any addictions or unresolved problems such as:

  • Alcohol
  • Drugs
  • Pornography
  • Child support
  • Baby momma/ Baby daddy drama
  • Debt, bankruptcy
  • Anger, Abusive domineering behavior (control, manipulation)
  • Un forgiveness
  • Low Self Esteem
  • Jealousy
  • Bitterness

These are major issues that need to be dealt with.


Do you have any STD’s?

People move on to new relationships, get married and find out later that they have a STD from a previous partner. Get tested. Make sure you are healthy before moving on.


Can you communicate effectively?

  • Meaning are you able to listen attentively without interrupting?
  • Are you able to respect the other persons opinions without criticizing?
  • Are you able to tell your mate the truth without putting them down?
  • Can you admit when you are wrong and apologize without holding grudges?
  • When conversations become heated are you able to diffuse them and come back to it when things have calmed down in a mature way?

Self Attitude Check if your attitude is not in line with the questions below than you are not ready for love

  • Are you holding on to any past grudges?
  • Are you content with who you are?
  • Are you enjoying your life now while you are single?
  • Do you compare your life to others?
  • Do you love yourself? (Not self centeredness, all about me attitude)
  • Are you thankful for the life you are living now?
  • Are you free from an ungrateful spirit?
  • When others have what you want are you able to be happy for them and not be jealous?
  • Are you at peace within yourself?
  • Do you trust God and His perfect timing?


Spiritual Foundation- Do you have one?

In life there will be many obstacles thrown at you, and having a strong spiritual foundation will help you deal with the roadblocks that stand in your way. A strong spiritual foundation can enhance your life. You will be less stressed, healthier, and live longer.


Learn about men.

After you have completely dealt with the other listed situations above then you are ready to move on to having the love you want, but before that can happen you must have an understanding of what a real man is. Read books about men. Learn how they think, their communication style, and how they view sex. Talk to men of good stature about men, such as a pastor, brothers, uncles, and friends.

When you learn to be single and enjoy it, you will save yourself from having an unhappy life and delusional relationships.