Self-Love and Selfless Love

Give Love Abundantly And Selflessly By Learning To Understand Self-Love

In order to understand how to give love abundantly, you must understand how to abundantly love yourself. The idea of loving yourself might fly in the face of convention. After all, who isn't taught that focusing on "self" is selfish. Who hasn't been shamed into believing that loving one's self is conceited? However, here's something to keep in mind.

We are taught as children not to think too highly of ourselves because our parents want to protect us from becoming conceited, narcissistic and intolerable to be around. The thing is, parents often teach concepts to children in "black and white" terms, because young minds aren't developed enough to understand complex thoughts. What does this have to do with self-love?

When you were younger, you didn't know how to comprehend the difference between healthy self-love and conceit. Now that you are older, you can process the difference between self-love that fosters healthy self-esteem and healthy-interactions with others and conceit that elevates you at the expense of others.

The fact is, there is no feasible way for you to truly love others in a selfless way until you've mastered loving yourself. Until you truly learn how to provide love for yourself, your motivations and your efforts in loving others will always have an undercurrent of selfishness or neediness.  What are the signs of loving yourself in a healthy, positive manner?

Loving yourself in a positive manner means that you are tolerant and accepting of yourself. While you might have higher aspirations for yourself, you appreciate your talents, skills, personality, mentality and your spirituality in the present moment. When you love yourself in a healthy manner, you also tend to really like yourself. You feel a strong need to be the best version of yourself.

When you love yourself, you are compassionate. You are also full of justice towards yourself and towards others. You naturally want to use your energy to improve the lives of others. You want to share the loving energy you have within you with others. However, because you love yourself, you understand that you need to set healthy boundaries for yourself so that you're not being taken advantage of.

On this note, people who love themselves not only have the energy and the spirituality to give themselves freely and almost selflessly to others, they aren't afraid to do so. They understand that there will be those from whom they'll need to protect themselves from. People who love themselves are pragmatic. They understand that while there will be people who don't deserve their love, there are plenty of people who will receive their love with gratitude and kindness. When a person who loves themselves senses all of these, their hearts will feel free to give their love to those who have proven themselves to be deserving.

People who don't understand healthy self-love often withhold their love towards others. They operate from a place of feeling that giving away love or kindness with leave them feeling depleted. A person who is full of love for themselves understands that giving love to others isn't a depleting act; Giving away love to others often fills a person up with more love for themselves.

People who are open and giving of their love are fulfilled in the knowledge that others are able to express their talents and their natural abilities when they feel loved, nurtured and supported. In other words, a person who loves themselves and who gives their love to others are fulfilled when they see others start to develop healthy love for themselves.


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